5 Easy Ways to Turn Your Man into the Perfect Insta-Husband

5 Easy Ways to Turn Your Man into the Perfect Insta-Husband

insta-husband

If you have wandered your cute little butt over to this site, then you might be asking yourself, what is an insta-husband?

Well according to urbandictionary.com an insta (or Instagram) husband is “the husband of a blogger or online influencer who takes photographs for his spouse and is tolerant of the constant interruptions that come along with the blogging business.”

You might also be asking yourself, where did this phenomenon originate?

Many people say that it began with Jeff…

Why would you want an insta-husband?

Well let’s be honest, there are a few very plausible, and practical reasons why.

Number one, for example, because it’s super fricken convenient. (Who has the time to set up that tripod every other hour?!)

Number two… it’s lucrative….maybe…? (Put that money you were going to spend on your full-time, follow-around photographer towards more important things… like shoes…)

Number three… its everything everyone else says it will ever be!!! (Kind of…)

insta-husband

Realistically, gaining an Instagram husband is completely attainable and since you are here to find out how… the really important part…

How:


ONE:

Ask him. This one is a pretty great option because it is almost guaranteed to work the first… second… or even third time. The reason, of course, is mostly because he isn’t quite sure yet what you are asking of him… and chances are he has no idea what an insta-husband is.

I would really take advantage of this step for the 1 to 3 times it works… before he catches on and anticipates it. Take that naivety and really just run with it! Because after a certain amount of time goes by… almost any FedEx delivery or “hey baaaabbbeeee” might be met with a stern conversation about the divorce rates in this country…

TWO:

Feed him whatever delicious recipe you are making!

He doesn’t want it cold? (Which it is bound to be after 2 hours of wrangling the kids, tweaking the lighting and infinite angle changes.)

Microwave.

Doesn’t like duck liver mouse on a crusty banquette with sage carrot butter and lemon, lavender and blueberry donuts for dessert? (Actually the donuts are pretty delicious… find the recipe here!)

McDonalds then.

Just be ready to run out and get him that number 5 immediately after “the shoot.”

THREE:

Speaking of food… how about some venison, bison or ostrich jerky? Or a monthly steak subscription?

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The plethora of craft gifts that bloggers write reviews for is limitless. Beard oils and wooden watches. Brew your own beer kits and scotch infused toothpicks…

No beard? Grow that baby out.

Don’t want to drink craft beer or a bottle of bourbon tonight? Take one for the team…

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Speaking of team, all the basketball players wear designer patterned ties now… I don’t care if it’s not while they are playing… just sayin…

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FOUR:

Put out… tried and true. (Well it is!!)

FIVE:

Basically just bribe him… with whatever floats his boat.


And just like that! TA DA!

You have your insta-husband!

OR… a more likely scenario is.. we have just tripled the amount of work you needed to do… all for a whining husband and an out of focus shot of the ceiling fan, the floor, or the unclean parts of your home that were clearly suppose to be cropped out of the shot.

You’re welcome.

ALOHA

XOXO

MAL

INSTA-HUSBAND

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