An Open Ended Letter to the People Who Want to Kill My Husband…

An Open Ended Letter to the People Who Want to Kill My Husband…


Dear Man, or Woman, or even Teen,
I’m sorry that I don’t know how to address you. But, I don’t know who you are.
Just as you don’t know who I am. Nor do you know my husband.
And yet you would choose, if given the opportunity, to hurt my husband. To even kill him.
You see my husband is a Police Officer.
And you hate Police Officers.
You want to kill them.
I could ask you why, but I know your reasons.
Police Officers are prejudiced, racist, unjust.
They wrongfully accuse, imprison, and murder your people.
They are solely responsible for the plight and subsequent poverty of everyone and everything you have ever known.
You don’t think my husbands life matters.
There is only one problem with all of that.
It is untrue. And you are wrong.
In today’s world our ability to connect with others in an instant has the potential to be an incredible, positive, life altering thing. We could teach, and love, and connect with the Whole. Entire. World.
But instead we choose to use these capabilities as a contributing factor in the spread of the self-entitlement, delusion, fear and hatred that is plaguing our society.
You are part of that hatred. You are part of that fear, delusion, and self-entitlement.
You think you know my husband.
You don’t know that he spent his adolescence worrying that he was going to lose his mother to the cancer that she fought 3 times.
You don’t know that in school he got into a few unfortunate altercations because he saw someone weaker than others being hurt and refused to stand for it, just as he does now.
You don’t know that he found a lost  20-something year old girl, with little ambition but lots of potential and helped her realize everything her life could become.
You don’t know that he held back (manly) tears the day he married that girl.
You don’t know that he went through hell in the Police Academy and suffered prejudices against him because of the color of his skin.
You don’t know that when he got through that hell, he came out on the other side to a thankless job with stress, pain, sorrow, loneliness and fear being daily occurrences.
You don’t know that while he was working the graveyard shift, in order to protect you, he had to leave his wife home to sleep alone almost every night for 2 years.
You don’t know that many of those nights I cried myself to sleep because I was terrified that something would happen and that he wasn’t going to come home.
You don’t know that when our baby boy was born, a brand new type of fear for losing my husband was instilled in me. (I didn’t even know that after 30 years of life you could experience a new kind of fear.)
You don’t know that he held our baby minutes after he was born and vowed to love him and to protect him with every ounce of his being.
You also don’t know, that he vows to protect you with Every. Single. Ounce. of his being.
Because while you are busy hating my husband, he is busy protecting people just like me, and people just like you.
While you are busy promoting the idea of fear, my husband has to navigate through his fear and ease mine that he may not come home to us.
And while you are busy being so delusional and self-entitled that you believe only your life and the lives of those closest to you matter, my husband is ensuring that every life he touches matters.
Because my husband doesn’t see color,  gender, religion, or class. He just sees people that he has sworn to protect.
And you see none of that.
While my husband has sworn to protect all lives, I say no to these “movements”.
I wish I could apologize, but I am simply not sorry for feeling this way.
The color of your skin does not ensure that your life matters.
Your profession does not ensure that your life matters.
Simply existing on this planet does not ensure that your life matters.
Your actions, your kindness, and your character are what ensures that your life matter.
Does my husbands life matter?
But not because of the badge on his chest. His life matters because of the person he is behind that badge.
You don’t know me and you don’t know my husband.
But you think you want to kill him.
Well I’m here to tell you, I DO know you.
Will your life matter?
A Police Officers Wife
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18 thoughts on “An Open Ended Letter to the People Who Want to Kill My Husband…”

  • I can’t imagine being married to someone in service such as police, military or…Thank god for the courage he has, you have and all your family has. Thank him for the support, protect and serving he does for your community. Thanks for sharing at the #InspirationSpotlight Party. Shared.

  • I love this letter. Thank you for writing it because my husband is also a police officer and the hate that is filled in this world recently, is horrible. People need to know that like you said, behind the badge is a man or a women, who they have a family and a life. These people that have this hatred in them towards the ones we love is heartbreaking and cruel. Thank you again for writing a wonderful and perfect letter. Please tell you husband thank you for being a police officer and doing the job he does.

  • This is so powerful and I appreciate you for writing it. I don’t think ‘movements’ are the issue, rather hatred, ignorance, and wicked hearts that are doing devastating damage to our nation. There are the good and bad of every group, and I have the utmost respect and appreciation for all your husband does and the strength it must take to stand by his side during such tumultuous times.

  • I can’t even imagine having to deal with these emotions as a police officers wife. This brought on real and actual tears on my part (which doesn’t happen often!). I loved this post!

  • Thank you, Mal, for being willing to be so vulnerable and put this out there. I appreciate all your thoughts and the work that your husband (and you!!) do on a daily basis to serve and protect our nation.

  • I am sharing this, first, because it is so powerful and second, because this deserves to be shared. I do not have any police in my family but, long ago, when I lived in Kansas, I worked with a woman whose son was a Texas Ranger. She shared some of her world with me, and you speak truth.

  • This brought tears to my eyes. My grandpa was a police officer for years and I have a high respect for all men and women who protect us.

  • This is so great, Mal. This is a tough topic but you hit the nail on the head. I think it’s ridiculous that it’s come down to do these or these types of lives matter? I think the “(insert type) lives matter” movement is the wrong way to go about it too. I worked with a woman whose husband was also a cop in Boston, which was a super scary place at the time (but what place isn’t these days?). I can only imagine how rough it’s been for you guys, but I’m so grateful for service people like him.

  • Very true post. My ex-husband is a police officer and I experienced all of what you describe. I pray every night that he comes home to my son so he can grow up with his dad.

  • This is so real and honest. Thank you for share your heart. It’s tough and people won’t get it, but I’m praying for your struggles! I’m thankful for his service.

  • I had to stop midway because I couldn’t see through the tears. I can’t imagine the feelings that an officers wife goes through. I can’t imagine how horrible it is to lose a close loved one because of hatred. I just can’t imagine why.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!